Creating Closeness from the Beginning:

Ways to Promote the Parent-Child Bond

Touch is the earliest sense to function and is a "primary language" throughout life.

Incorporate gentle, appropriate touch during everyday caregiving. Physical contact through holding, carrying, rocking, caressing, and cuddling is vital if your child is to prosper.

Systematically touch and stroke your baby in sensitive, caring ways. Take into account her health, development, and particular reaction patterns.

Infant massage contains all of the elements of bonding including touch, warmth, eye contact, odor, talking, being "in synch", and recreating rhythms.

Find good times to establish pleasant routines of massage, diapering, dressing, feeding, bathing, reading, playing, and bedtime.

Your child's biological and behavioral cues will tell you what she enjoys, tolerates, and finds distressing. Put yourself "in your child's shoes".

Allow your child to determine how long and how intense a particular interaction will be.

Physically, be on your child's level as much as possible. Being near to your child is important!

Get a nonverbal and verbal "dialogue" going by sensitively responding to your child's cues. Learn to be a "partner" with your child so that you both will be satisfied with your interactions.

Enhance your child's self-esteem by using praise. The greatest compliment you can give your child is to spend time with her.

Children are wonderfully sensitive to everything about your communication. A relaxed state for parent and child is essential. Get support, and take a break when needed. Allow pleasure in being with your child and enjoy!

©1993-2004, Gentle Touch Parent-Child Program, LLC

See this article, printed with permission, in

Tender Loving Care, International Association of Infant Massage, United States Chapter

Spring, 1996 issue of MotherTongue

Please contact the author for permission to reprint.